First time when I felt the pain of burn was when I was 6 and wanted to feel the effect of molten wax on my palm. My friend and my comrade poured a lot more than What I expected and aaahhh! I pretended to be all brave and held on my tear glands, but kept nursing the burn boil for over a week.
Lot of us would have had similar experiences of playing with fire and the effects of it. When I was 12, I accidentally dropped boiling hot oil on my feet, again it was by mistake and was my mistake. Even today when I look at those scars I remember the pain.
Recently, I saw another burn scar. This scar was on the legs and stomach of a 15 year old girl. And I thought what pain she would have gone through when she got burned and I remembered my little instances of life when I felt the twinge of burn. Speaking to the girl, she mentioned “ I poured kerosene on myself and lit myself up”. None of my experiences in life corresponded to this sort of event.
I had a few doubts of this girl’s behavior and now I was sure she was mentally unstable and had suicidal tendencies. Therefore deputed a counselor for her and also gave special instructions to the warden of the girls house to pay special attention on her.
We enquired of her background and met with her parents and siblings to get to know more. We came to know that she got so upset with her father’s abusive nature that one fine day she thought she will finish it all and therefore those scars.
This girl, in other instances, is a fighter. She is working hard to learn, to study and also want to be someone in life. Not only that, after being burned, her body became crocked and was bent, she was not able to use her right leg. Being from extremely poor background they could not afford any physio and whatever little her mother gathered for her treatment was put to, what her father considered to be better use, “Drinking”. But this girl pulled herself with her own hands, straightened herself and now is absolutely fine except of those scars.
Now, this did not correspond with why she burned herself. A girl like her would rather fight than wanting to kill herself. So after many days, when I was counseling her as she was a bit low. She told me something I never anticipated. She said, “I burned myself but I did not wanted to kill myself”. My obvious question was, then why? She said, “My father was drunk and wanted to rape me”, and showing me her scars she said “this is how I wanted to present myself to him”. I looked at her scar again and now I could not feel the pain…
Written by Angelika Samuel Gier
