Another Day in Catalyst Life II- Mother spelt with an "i"

Does the word MOTHER always have the same meaning?

Some time ago there was a TV commercial for a motorbike that projected the riders of the same to be the unshakable ones in lives turmoil. In my adolescent and young adult years when I was much inclined to get into various types of trouble (Including girl friend problems) and then behave like the tough guy “the unshakable type” and keep sulking in the background. The first one to spot that would be my mother, and I always wondered how? My mother always said that she knew what I needed even when I could not speak (as an infant). It’s much easier now.

I revere a mother as someone who knows the best for their children and I would not equate that to fathers even being a father myself. But this belief of mine was shaken just a few days ago and I am still in shock. I am sharing this story with all of you as our series “Another day in Catalyst life”

“MOTHER” Spelt with an “I”

Four months ago, just before the start of our project Diversion, we approached a 12-year-old girl Kanu (name changed) to be a part of Diversion. Kanu has been known to us for about 2 years and is a very attractive looking girl. Our staff anticipated her to get into trouble if she stayed under the flyover (our project area). But her mother was very adamant of not sending her as she was the one who would earn money by rag picking or begging, bring water, cook food and take care of 3 other siblings as the mother in under alcohol influence all the time. Our best convincing did not work.

3 weeks ago, late at night, we got the news that Kanu and one other girl of the same age has been raped by a man of the same locality. This man has children of almost the same age. More over the community has let off this man for a fine of Rs 3000. We tried to get the mother file a police case but no one including her was even willing to speak about it.

When we spoke to the girl, she was shattered and wanted to get away from this place. We took her to our shelter and contacted the police with her situation but the police were of a different opinion and directed us to hand over the girl back to the mother no matter what as she is the natural guardian of this girl. In spite of us referring to her sexual exploitation, under age labor and begging the police did not give us an option and under pressure we had to send the girl back. On her return she along with other girls who were in our favor were brutally beaten by their families.

2 days hence the girl disappeared, people say she has been sent back to her village, which we know well, does not exist. The mother who is still here is poisoning the minds of other families.

Catalyst is thinking, how do we handle these mothers with and “I”, what can we do next??

Your opinions will be of great value

PS: There is always a hope

For those of you who remember the previous edition of Another day in Catalyst Life "Buy back offer with a slight Difference"

The girl Anamika is now a part of Catalyst's Diversion Project and is doing very well. She is being treated for chronic Asthama. She has transformed into a very cheerful and happy girl from being low and sulking. She aims to sustains herself in one years time and start supporting her family who are still living under the flyover. Remember her in your prayers.

Looking at the scars can you feel the pain.. By Angelika Samuel Gier

First time when I felt the pain of burn was when I was 6 and wanted to feel the effect of molten wax on my palm. My friend and my comrade poured a lot more than What I expected and aaahhh! I pretended to be all brave and held on my tear glands, but kept nursing the burn boil for over a week.

 

Lot of us would have had similar experiences of playing with fire and the effects of it. When I was 12, I accidentally dropped boiling hot oil on my feet, again it was by mistake and was my mistake. Even today when I look at those scars I remember the pain.

 

Recently, I saw another burn scar. This scar was on the legs and stomach of a 15 year old girl. And I thought what pain she would have gone through when she got burned and I remembered my little instances of life when I felt the twinge of burn. Speaking to the girl, she mentioned “ I poured kerosene on myself and lit myself up”. None of my experiences in life corresponded to this sort of event.

 

I had a few doubts of this girl’s behavior and now I was sure she was mentally unstable and had suicidal tendencies. Therefore deputed a counselor for her and also gave special instructions to the warden of the girls house to pay special attention on her.

 

We enquired of her background and met with her parents and siblings to get to know more. We came to know that she got so upset with her father’s abusive nature that one fine day she thought she will finish it all and therefore those scars.

 

This girl, in other instances, is a fighter. She is working hard to learn, to study and also want to be someone in life. Not only that, after being burned, her body became crocked and was bent, she was not able to use her right leg. Being from extremely poor background they could not afford any physio  and whatever little her mother gathered for her treatment was put to, what her father considered to be better use, “Drinking”. But this girl pulled herself with her own hands, straightened herself and now is absolutely fine except of those scars.

 

Now, this did not correspond with why she burned herself. A girl like her would rather fight than wanting to kill herself. So after many days, when I was counseling her as she was a bit low. She told me something I never anticipated. She said, “I burned myself but I did not wanted to kill myself”. My obvious question was, then why? She said, “My father was drunk and wanted to rape me”, and showing me her scars she said “this is how I wanted to present myself to him”. I looked at her scar again and now I could not feel the pain…

Written by Angelika Samuel Gier

Russian New Channel RT, carried a story about the work of Catalyst

Catalyst India has been functional for almost 2 years now. Our very first and flagship program is called "thank God its saturday" which is a time of fun and frolic with the kids who live on the street. Its an effort to share the affection that they lack.

A news channel called RT from Russia carried this story attached as a video below. 

The Video features our super star Pinto Kumar, who works with the Red Moon Bakery.

Enjoy

Abhishek Gier

Executive Director

www.catalystindia.in

Ps: The video runs in VLC player

A new Beginning has Began

I slept at 4 am after completing a few pending things. Just when my sleep was getting sweet, there was a knock at my bedroom door. It was not something I was prepared for or even anticipating. Sunita’s due date at her last check up was still 28^th August and this was just 11^th August.

We rushed Sunita to the hospital, her water broke on the way and we were still a few kilometers away from the hospital. Just to remind you, Sunita is just 15yrs old and still weighs only 37 kilos, she and her husband are a part of our Reboot Project http://www.catalystindia.in/whatwedo.aspx?projectid=16&projectname=Reboot. I could constantly hear Sunita’s laments in her own dialect that made them sound even more painful.

We were at the hospital in 25 minutes; thank God it was wee hours which is rare few that are spared by the ruthless traffic of delhi. Sunita was taken in the emergency room and her doctor was called. All we had in our control that we could do was PRAY.

Four hours passed, Sunita was still in labor pain, At 10:30 am Sunita was moved into the labor room. All of us, along with Ricky were anxious and were walking up and down the corridor, so much so that the Director of the hospital laughingly said, “ it seems like a movie scene from bollywood”.

We took Ricky to quickly grab a bite and the moment the canteen served steaming hot maggie, the phone rang, it’s a boy and the exact expression of Ricky’s face was indefinable.

Sunita gave birth to a 2.25 kilos (Almost 5 lbs) fair healthy boy, we call him “Rakshit” which means “the protected one”. He is indeed the one God protected from the place he was conceived till the time he was born and we believe He would continue to do so.

And here comes the most amazing and miraculous part, which in 3 decades of my life I have only heard of; Sunita “walked” home at 6 pm this very same day in contrast to the colossal complications we were imagining in this under age, weak and unplanned pregnancy.

Thanks to Dr Shiela Sharma, Dr. Koshy and all the staff of AIPF Mission Hospital along with the staff and volunteers of Catalyst and above all, All glory be to God.

It is time for a New Beginning

Some of you have had the pleasure of experiencing the transition from being individuals to parents to being a family. Some of you are on the way and rest will be there soon. The feeling is so simple yet so beautiful that it is hard to describe.

Catalyst, 3 months ago, took the risk of taking the responsibility to let this feeling be there for Ricky 18, and Sunita 15 who were living under a flyover till some time ago and sunita pregnant by 5+ months. They joined in our "Reboot" programhttp://www.catalystindia.in/whatwedo.aspx?projectid=16&projectname=Reboot 

Sunita, at the time of Joining Reboot

Now, it is anytime that Sunita will give birth to a new life, in a different environment than the others from their community.

And when i think about this child, and look at my daughter, i try to wonder what is the difference... nothing...and what will the difference be... immense...

I invite you all to think about this difference that is, and, which will be. Also think about how we can contribute to reduce this difference if at all we want this difference to be reduced.

I also invite you to contribute for the delivery process as it is a high risk for both the mother and the Child, it will cost around INR 20000. And then all that is needed for a new mother and the child as we believe all will go well by His Grace.

Let us all be a part of this New Beginning and make a better future.

Another Day in Catalyst Life- Buy Back Offer

Buy Back Offer (with a slight difference)

Three months ago, i deputed our project coordinator Ashita, to council a family who were about to marry their 13 year old daughter Anamika (Name changed). In spite of our efforts, the marriage still happened. It  was evident that the girl was also very happy to be married as she said she always liked this guy who happens to be a Polio victim and moves around in a wheel Chair.

We all consider Dowry system to be an evil practice and several young women die every year in our country because of this practice. The community we work with is free from this evil. Our community lives under a fly over and have no fixed housing, they can not even be called a slum. So the idea of the marriage here is the Man pays the money to the family of the girl to marry her, sounds better than the evil dowry system, but eventually this is a form of human trafficking and here it is considered that the girl becomes the man's property since he has paid for her.

July 6, 2009

We were called in as there has been major fights between the two families the previous night. Anamika also tried committing suicide by standing on the train track (thank God she was saved) and the Boy's family are preparing to sell her to a brothel since neither the boy nor the girl wants to be in the marriage. The reasons were;

1. The girl being just 13 is not able to take the physicality of marriage

2. Since the girl avoids the boy who is, as it is complexed of his handicapped, considers her character less

When we intervened, we were given this unique buy back offer. The boy has paid Rs 17000 for the girl, so if we pay that sum the girl will be free.

We offered the following solutions;

1. We take both of them under our Reboot Project (to know more about reboot http://www.catalystindia.in/whatwedo.aspx?projectid=16&projectname=Reboot ) Support them fully and provide them life skills.

2. Give some time to the girl to be physically ready and in the mean time we can train her with life skills in our Diversion Project (to know more about Diversion http://www.catalystindia.in/whatwedo.aspx?projectid=15&projectname=diversion )

Both the options were trashed by all of them as no one is willing to trust each other.

Now the options we have

1. Involve the police and the women welfare department and make sure the girl is not sold

Repercussions : Police and the judiciary are considered an enemy by this community for obvious reasons, if we involve the police we will lose the trust and respect of this community which we have built over last 2 and half year. Also, since the girl is the minor, the custody will be with her parents who both are severe alcoholics and in all possibility sell her again. The police will not camp there so, the girl will be beaten up as she is so far.

2. Let the situation take its own course

Repercussions : If the girl is sold to a brothel, Catalyst will have to live with this burden for as long as we exist, because then, rescuing her will be impossible.

3. Pay the Money and get the girl to a safe place

Repercussions : Setting a wrong trend

The Boy's family under no circumstances are willing to let go of her without money. Anamika's father, who, as i mentioned earlier is an alcoholic, has even agreed to sign a paper of no responsibility, if the girl is being sold out by the boy's family.

Please write in your suggestions to this unique buy back offer, it will be of great value to Catalyst.

Regards

Abhishek Gier

Executive Director

Catalyst India

Reflection of Mary Pandaini after Delhi Visit

India is the land of extremes – extreme poverty, extreme beauty, extreme congestion, extreme love.  Delhi, itself, is the land of heart.  The smiles of the children, especially the contrast of the street kids’ teeth against their dark skin, remind you that in the worst of situations, joy can be found in the simplicity of a kind hello.

My purpose in coming here?  Still not entirely sure.  I think Bob and I work well together.  To be with Richard and Abhishek with Catalyst draws me here.  Meeting Sam and Shoba inspires me.   My story needs to be told.   But where? How to tell it?

Standing at the top of the Garden of the Five Senses, we can see the whole of Delhi.  Smoke, flowers, singing voices, cars honking, miles and miles of city life.   At this time of day, families start to fill the homes, some legally built, others make-shift, and some under tents.  We pray.  We pray to God, asking for the Spirit to move among the city.  As Jesus wept for Jerusalem, we weep for Delhi.  Tears of joy in knowing God is already at work.  Tears of sadness for the pain and suffering of the marginalized and hurting.  Tears of despair at the enormity of work to be done.  Tears of hope that undergirds that task.

Pintu, tall and good-looking, smiles across the counter at the bakery.  He works the entire day in anticipation of earning enough for his own bike.  It’s quite a significant feat to have his own mode of transportation at the age of 19.  The bike is symbol of independence; his training in the bakery is his ticket.   After growing up in the “flyover” slum near New Friends Colony, his future now seems limitless.

The young couple, she is 15 and he 19, they sit next to each other sharing a meal with the rest of us.  She smiles beneath her scarf, wrapped in her sari.  “Thank you, Mister Bob,” she ends our meal.  They now have the potential of getting out of the poverty of their youth.  He works various jobs through connections of Catalyst supporters.

We walk up the steps to the shopping mall.  Karjol gets up quickly onto her one leg to run to us, giving hugs and warm hellos.  Behind us, from where she was sitting, a torn blanket and bowl sit out for her begging enterprise.  She is the sole bread winner of her family.  Mom is an alcoholic, dad has left.  At the age of 11, she has very little time for school or playing.  Fortunately, the relationships with those in Catalyst provide her with opportunities of being a kid. 

Is the answer more programs?  Yes, in a way.  No, in another.  Something more is required – “but to love justice, mercy and to walk humbly with our Lord.”  The name of Jesus asks us for our heart, lifting up the power of the Kingdom through relationships.

How can we build relationships when we live on the other side of this world?

That is the question.

Investment.

I have seen a side of Delhi that most do not see.  I have seen the dark underbelly, and as a result, fallen in love with the city.